Homesickness
HOMESICKNESS
© Copyright, Keith Hearne, 2008
This is a natural phenomenon, but in some people the feeling is overwhelmingly strong, causing much distress and sadness – considerably interfering with the individual’s ability to cope with life.
Essentially, the therapy consists of: determining the level of anxiety in the Client and working on anxiety-reduction; uncovering and re-integrating any sub-personalities (eg frightened or abandoned child) that are operating in the situation; uncovering and processing any other factors such as past-life residues and/or spirit attachments.
***
Firstly, go through the Client’s Confidential Questionnaire , and administer Hearne’s Questionnaire to Determine Possible Neuroticism (see your course notes).
In addition, you may wish to go through the short Negative Life-Outlook Questionnaire on the last page of these notes, to illuminate any distorted frames of mind to life in the Client. Discuss the findings of these two tests with the Client.
Then in that initial interview, discuss the problem of homesickness itself very thoroughly . This will determine the Client’s conscious thinking and reasons. Interrogate the client closely, to ascertain those elements that the client thinks are being missed:
Is it:
A person, or persons? If so, who specifically?
The former home?
The former workplace and workmates?
The sense of unchanging familiarity?
Ask:
Is there a fear of the unknown?
Was the Client ever lost as a child?
Is there a feeling of having relied on others before, and now having to think and act independently?
Are there present circumstances that have altered the client’s relationship with their partner/ children?
Has the client’s relationship deteriorated?
If the person has a high Neuroticism score, the anxiety of having to cope in a new environment without the presence and support of others, can trigger long-lasting and powerful negative feelings of homesickness.
If anxiety is excessive, self-tranquilisation using hypnosis and self-hypnosis needs to be an essential part of the therapy. Explain the inverted U-shaped curve (Yerkes-Dodson diagram ) between Performance and Arousal (anxiety in this case).
Describe how right-brain anxiety can be blocked by left-brain activity (eg auditory stimulation such as Internal singing, or listening to songs on an ipod). People sing in bomb-shelters to allay fear. But, if excessive it can also block necessary focusing on other problems that need to addressed.
People can symbolically lower the level of anxiety by visualizing turning down a tap or valve of some sort.
Explain, too, that anxiety is a drive that can in fact be harnessed positively for the individual.
HYPNOSIS
Ask what the Client knows about hypnosis. Say that they will be aware of what is happening around them, and that they only need to become reasonably relaxed (so that they do not ‘try’ to enter a deep trance). Ensure that they feel comfortable – ask them if they need to go to the loo,
Explain Ideo-Motor Responses (IMRs) and place the box of tissues on their lap. It’s good to have a narrow beam of light from a lamp directed onto their fingers, so that very small IMR movements are not missed. If they cry, place a tissue in their hand.
Having obtained full background information, determine whether any unconscious reasons are exacerbating the Client’s current situation.
Induce hypnosis using the full procedure of: systematic bodily relaxation, countdown, the enabling script (getting the attention of the unconscious mind) and visualization. That state of relaxation will in itself be a welcome haven for the Client.
Focusing on the feeling of home-sickness, use the IMRs to find any causative events in this lifetime . Identify and re-integrate any sub-personalities – perhaps having feelings of abandonment or loss.
An inordinate, illogical, feeling of homesickness may be the result of a strong influence from a sub-personality – the present situation evoking past fears and unhappiness – at an unconscious level – that are ‘stuck in time’ and projected onto the present. The feelings are immature and irrelevant now.
In the case of past-life work (using the corridor method) seek the relevant residues that continue to influence the Client. If the emotion is strong in the Client, you may wish to use the Affect bridge procedure (Get the Client to focus on the emotion and at the right moment, state: ‘Recall the first time you felt that way.’)
The Client may respond, in their IMRs, that attached entities are present, and be affecting the Client’s emotions. Remove any attachments to the Light.
***
All that work may actually be enough for a single session – in which case, de-hypnotize the Client (after re-orientation in time) and continue in the next session.
Continuing either from a short first session, or at the start of a second session:
You will have administered Hearne’s ‘ Questionnaire to determine possible neuroticism’ . If the score is high, it is likely that the Client is naturally more anxious than most in any situation. In that case, the main work needs to be focused on reducing their inherent anxiety.
Excessive anxiety cripples thinking, and the logical coping with an unhappy state of affairs.
Induce hypnosis here, unless the Client is already in a trance. Use the full procedure, and go to either Route A or Route B next, reading the script material slowly, with meaning:
ROUTE A: (For highly anxious people. Score of 7 or more)
‘From our little test, it seems that you might possess more anxiety than most people. That is worth knowing, because when others are a little bit anxious, your anxiety level is high. Anxiety can interfere with logical thinking and sensible behaviour. Now you know how to deal with acute anxiety – to sing in your head, or listen to music. That is useful for immediate anxiety, and to reduce anxiety for a longer period you can imagine turning down a tap or a valve to stem the flow. From now on, whenever you think the word RELAX, this will help you to feel a sense of tranquillity – immediately. Try it now for a few times – think the word RELAX and feel that serenity.’ (PAUSE). (This is important, so get them to practise this several times.)
Skip the next paragraph, and continue at ‘We learn many things in life.’
ROUTE B ( For ordinarily anxious people ):
. ‘Anxiety can interfere with logical thinking and sensible behaviour. Now you know how to deal with acute anxiety – to sing in your head, or listen to music. That is useful for immediate anxiety, and to reduce anxiety for a longer period you can imagine turning down a tap or a valve to stem the flow. From now on, whenever you think the word RELAX, this will help you to feel a sense of tranquillity – immediately. Try it now for a few times – think the word RELAX and feel that serenity.’
(PAUSE).
(Adapt the Script to fit the Client’s circumstances)
‘We learn many things in life. As a baby you learned to crawl and then to walk, and run. You picked up language, and at school you started reading and writing. Just think of all the skills that you have acquired over the years. And as you sit here in this room, your unconscious may be thinking of other things that you will learn.
People are sometimes not too keen on change, but change can take us on to new and exciting areas, so that after a while we realise that the former environment, although good at the time, was in fact limiting. So, change also brings about a better perspective.
Going up to a higher class at school may have been unsettling and scary for some, but after a short time it was good to feel more advanced and senior to others, and to know that you are progressing to better things.
When a child gets separated from its parents, say in a large shop, the child can be really distressed because it is a new situation and he or she realises suddenly how much dependency there is on others. Isolation from loved ones and familiar surroundings tug on deep emotions. It is quite normal. The feelings and thoughts, though, would be different later on life, when there is a better perspective. It is perhaps a genetic programme within us, stopping us wandering off into danger when young and vulnerable.
Now, you are older, yet you are in a new situation of separation from the previous unchanging lifestyle ( go over what the Client has told you about it) . So it is not surprising that unconscious echoes of earlier feelings, or genetics, still linger.
But we do adapt to every altered situations. The hurt goes away. It is an essential ‘right of passage’ for everyone in life to move on and feel loneliness and even despair – for a while. It is a great personal achievement to overcome those negative thoughts and emotions. The sooner you can move on from your current darkness, the sooner you will encounter the great joy that is already waiting for you.
There are new things to do, new places to go, and new people to meet.
You will soon find yourself smiling and feeling comfortable in the presence of
dear new friends of your own choosing. Now is the time to move forward and embrace the wonderful potential that lies ahead.
Each day that goes by now, you will find yourself thinking:
I am feeling more confident and more self-reliant.
My personality and character are developing, improving, maturing.
I have an increasing sense of well-being and self-worth.
I am feeling better in many ways and my state of mind is more relaxed.
I am able to deal with life so much more comfortably.
I possess a sense of control and mastery in my life and I am more successful in all that I do.
My thinking is sharper and I have a real sense of purpose in life.
Life is so much more satisfying and I have a sense of true happiness.
My vocal utterances are clear and concise.
My body is fitter and healthier.
I have many new opportunities now to make a good life and have a good job.
I have new interests.
It is good to feel independent and coping with life.
AWAKEN the Client.
***
Afterwards, encourage the Client to get out more, have new interests (eg dancing, politics, attending training courses, theatre, etc.), and meet new people.
You may want to use this short questionnaire as a starting point to detect outlooks on life that are rather excessive and could make it difficult for the Client to fit in with others . This could add to the problems of someone away from a familiar environment and feeling homesick.
NEGATIVE LIFE-OUTLOOK SCALE
Ask the Client to what extent they agree with each statement. Each is an outlook on life that is essentially negative and problematic. Discuss each statement with the Client, with the intention that each should be examined and challenged.
EXCESSIVE NEED FOR LOVE.
1 I have to feel loved, otherwise I simply can’t operate.
***
EXCESSIVE EXTENDED RESPOSIBILITY
2 I feel very responsible about what is going on in the lives of people around me.
***
EXCESSIVE STRIVING
3 I’m only really happy when I’m doing something productive.
***
EXCESSIVE ATTENTION TO DETAIL
4 I feel that I have to do things meticulously, even though it takes longer than with most people.
***
EXCESSIVE FEELING OF DESERVEDNESS
5 I feel that I really deserve many good things in life,
***
EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ADMIRATION
6 Everything I do depends on what others will think of me.
*********